4 Stigmas About Depression

In my effort to combat lifelong depression one thing I've found to be the most helpful is to live my life in an open and authentic way. This means sharing my story and de-mystifying the stigmas surrounding depression. It's a term that so many people use it has lost it's meaning. Depression is a unique beast. It can manifest itself in many forms, however our culture has done a crappy job actually talking about real depression. Below I've compiled a list of 4 ways that depression is misunderstood and even stigmatized in our culture.

NOTE- I am not a Therapist and these are not a professional diagnoses. If you feel you are struggling with depression, please seek professional help. You can anonymously call or text the National Depression Hotline.

4 Stigmas about Depression in our Culture:

1. The First World Problems Depression- "Oh I missed the Bachelorette last night, I'm so depressed!"  "Ugh, he didn't call me back, I am so depressed!" "This movie is so depressing!"  Nope. Not depression. Your frustration towards the insignificant details of life is not depression. Maybe even learn how to substitute other words like "angry, frustrated, sad, downtrodden" (if your feeling dramatic) in similar situations. This is not depression friends. Use another word.
2. The Eeyore Depression- When people think of depression many people think of the down in the dumps, slumped over, droopy faced Eeyore shuffling through life saying grumpy things like, “If it is a good morning, which I doubt.” Your cynical attitude towards the world is not depression. It is probably a lack of empathy & kindness, and lacking gratitude. Turn off the news, open the doors, breathe some free air and hug a tree. Life is beautiful. And can I also share that oftentimes the type of people that struggle with depression might be the last person you'd ever think is struggling with depression. Happy smiles all over the Instagram. ((ME!!!)) The outwards signs of depression are not what you think.
3. The Psychotic Killer Depression- Anyone who has struggled with depression has probably had a similar moment that I have of vulnerability, when you finally get the courage to open up and share with a friend that you are struggling with depression-- and they give you THAT look. The terrified, confused, "oh shit" look. That you might be capable of something frightening, weird or unpredictable. Psychology Today describes the stigma perfectly, " From a young age children will refer to others as “crazy” or “weird”; these terms are used commonly throughout adulthood as well. Often the negative stereotypes involve perceptions that people with mental illness are dangerous. This perception is fueled by media stories that paint violent perpetrators as “mentally ill” without providing the context of the broad spectrum of mental illness." The Surgeon General even listed STIGMA as perhaps the biggest barrier to mental health care!!! Depression is real. Let's stop perpetrating this myth because it only seeks to isolate the person struggling with depression.
4. The Bored Housewife Depression- This one strikes a cord with me because I am a stay at home mom & it makes my blood boil. I've even had to demystify this stigma with my own husband who tries to (helpfully) tell me, "you should get out of the house, why don't you join a book club? Yoga studio?" While I hold back the urge to punch him in the face, I have to clarify that what I am feeling as a mother--still isn't depression! When I tell him I'm struggling with my identity and value as a woman--it's because being a mom is hard. Being a stay at home mom there's no punch card at the end of your "shift", no emails to send, no reports to file. Your day feels exhausting but all you completed was laundry?! Now being a mom is a HUGE shift in your identity whether you work from home or not. It does a number on your brain. Literally your BRAIN CHANGES!! (Read this amazingly cool Live Science article on how motherhood effects your brain) I'm not talking just about saggy bellies and boobs- your brain is effected- ever heard of "mom brain"?! But can we please stop telling moms struggling with depression to "get a hobby". Depression and motherhood, while some go hand in hand, is not always the central cause of depression.
   Remember to always reach out and seek help even if you have the smallest inkling you might be experiencing depression. There is hope for you.