Guest Post: Natural Home Birth Story

I wanted to feature my good friend Zarria Carson's beautiful home birth story as I immensely admire her commitment to a natural, healthy lifestyle for her family. Also- I had the honor to photograph her birth! If you'd like more information on home birth, plant based lifestyle  & alternative health methods please visit her website at The Radiant Life.

Here is her story below:

I was so excited for this birth my entire pregnancy. I know a lot of times mama’s aren’t necessarily thrilled about the actual birth part…but I was. I never thought Raelynn’s birth was too hard for me to handle. It was hard, don’t get me wrong, but it was also sweet and beautiful. I couldn’t wait to know how this little baby’s story would unfold. I couldn’t wait to have Nick help me through the hardest work of my life, yet again, and fall in love with him even more, yet again. And obviously, I couldn’t wait to find out the gender!

Adali’s birth was so different from Raelynn’s….shocker, I know. It’s like the saying “all pregnancies and births are different” is around for a reason. I felt really good the entire pregnancy…like unusually good. Even in the last weeks I would be playing around on the floor with Raelynn and “forget” I was pregnant.  I was big, don’t get me wrong, but I felt really small and really healthy.  I didn’t have to slow down in the last weeks, did’t have any swelling or discomforts. I was just me, doing normal life except with a toddler hanging out on my HUGE belly, ha! I’m really thankful for all the healthy lifestyle changes we have made that allowed me to feel so good! I wish more women knew pregnancy doesn’t have to equal misery.

Now on to the labor, which is what everyone really wants to know about. I had prodromal labor on and off for about a week. One night contractions were coming pretty close and slightly hard, so Nick and I walked the neighborhood way late into the night because I couldn’t sleep and Raelynn was restless anyway. Nothing came of those. Another night they were so intense I couldn’t sleep or rock through them. There was so much pain in my back. I hopped in the shower per midwives orders and finally felt relief after 20 minutes of letting the hot water pound my lower back. When contractions started Saturday afternoon, I completely dismissed them as prodromal labor once again. They slowly got harder and harder to manage so I timed them just to see but of course they stayed super sporadic. Towards the evening they got hard enough that I didn’t think I could manage caring for Raelynn and staying calm through them at the same time so Nick’s mom came over to take care of her while he went to work for the evening. I felt silly asking for help when they were so sporadic but I was also to the point that some of them brought me to my knees in full focus mode.

I carried on with things as usual and the contractions kept coming harder and harder with NO consistency. They were 15 minutes apart, then 5, then 30. I knew there was no way they could hurt this bad and not be real but people kept saying they weren’t close enough to be real. I slowly let fear and anxiety seep in. I began to feel defeated…if these were so hard how could I keep going and manage real labor if it did come along?  My midwife texted, “How’s it going?”. I replied, “that one almost killed me.” Ha! She thought they would go away if I could get my body to relax so she suggested a warm bath. I turned my music on, relaxed in the bath, and tried to be calm, pushing all negative thoughts away and replacing them with the truths of the worship music in the background.  I didn’t feel one contraction for 30 minutes. As soon as I thought about getting out I had the HARDEST contraction that lasted over a minute. I felt trapped in the tub, scrambling to my knees to get in a more comfortable position. All I could think is ” I need Nick” (Seriously, that guy is my rock…if you haven’t noticed). I fumbled for my phone to text him “come home”. As I did my midwife sent a text that said “I really need these contractions to calm down. I have another woman in labor who is farther along than you.” I knew then by the way I needed Nick that this was probably the real deal and that my midwife probably wouldn’t be there.

Nick came home and I was so relieved. He could tell I wasn’t managing the contractions well. I was nervous and letting myself get worked up because I was so taken aback by these sporadic yet incredibly hard contractions, confused as to why they were not slowly building like with Raelynn (or in “normal” births). He talked me through them, rubbed my back, and helped me focus and relax. We snuggled and tried watching an episode of Friends. Apparently comedy is my go to labor fix. We made it half way through an episode before I demanded I needed the birth pool. He looked at me with all the kindness in his eyes, along with a hint of pity and mischief and said, “Give me one more good contraction and you can have it.” I did, 5 minutes later, and he dutifully went to fill up the pool. Good thing because they came every 5 minutes after that. He made all the calls and got everyone on their way…except the midwife who really did have to go to another birth. Luckily she works with another midwife who had been her assistant during our appointments who came and did everything on her own. We were super comfortable with that since we knew her well and she was actually our midwife for Raelynn.

I labored in the pool for awhile, moaning through the contractions while people worked to get everything set up. Nick mostly stayed by my side, holding my hands, putting cool cloths on my forehead, and giving me drinks of water. I had a couple frozen Ningxia packets that I ate like popsicles that basically tasted like heaven in a pouch. Literally. So good. They were a great little energy boost and gave me tons of nutrients (SO thankful I had both of those…little did I know I would NEED those nutrients not too much later). I  also set out all the oils I thought I would need during labor and OH. MY. WORD. These were game changers this time around! I didn’t realize how powerful these little gems would be during the hardest parts of labor. My midwife would hold a bottle under my nose and just a whiff gave me the clarity, energy, mindset, etc that I needed to push through. What I used and how is a whole other blog post, so I’ll stop rambling about it and share all my tips and tricks later.

_{Look at how much that man loves me.}

I labored in the pool for awhile in all kinds of positions. I had read a story where another woman put her whole face under the water with each contraction and I thought “how strange”. Well, of course, I ended up wanting to do the same thing. I didn’t let myself fully submerge my head, but I did get low and cover my lips with the water and blow out through my lips making bubbles in the water during contractions. Somehow, the water on my lips and the action of blowing in it was unusually soothing.

Eventually I sensed a feeling of readiness and cringed as I told the midwife I felt like pushing and wanted her to check me. Getting checked is SO UNCOMFORTABLE as I can’t be in a good position to manage a contraction if it comes. She said I was good to go if I wanted to. So I did. I pushed, slightly, with each one. They felt too hard not to push through but the pushing didn’t actually feel effective either. From about the time I was checked up until the water broke, Adali wiggled and squirmed an unbelievable amount. She certainly made up for being so calm the entire pregnancy. I could feel her little head twisting all around. The feeling made me laugh and I’d say “Stop! That feels so weird!!” She must have been stretching out and trying to wiggle her way down because I could feel her head moving so so low and then feel her little feet kicking my ribs. I figured she was ready to come and doing what she could to help. No sense in wasting time.

My midwife asked if maybe I wanted to try going back to just moaning/breathing through contractions so I didn’t wear myself out with pushing. I shot her the dirtiest look known to mankind. She chuckled and said “Okay, mama, you do what you want.” Eventually she asked if I wanted my water broke. I really wanted to say no because I hate interventions but she said it was probably making me feel like I was pushing against a wall and getting nowhere…which is exactly what it felt like. So I had her break it. I literally tried to jump back in the pool afterwards. That next contraction was INTENSE!! Nick grabbed me to keep me from diving in long enough for the midwife to check the heartbeat. Then it was go time.

Annnd part 2 coming in the next few days 🙂

Read more at The Radiant Life.